Neuro Drinks: “Functional Beverages”

 

Just the other day I received the biggest box of Crayons I’ve ever seen in the mail and it said “Adult Formulas” right on the box.  I dunno… thought you may be interested in hearing about it.  Read on if I’m right.

Neuro, a progressive beverage company, has graced me with some deeply intriguing drinks.  I’m not reviewing them here quite yet.  I’m still demoing the product and I think there’s plenty to talk about before even trying the beverage.

You see, with energy drinks we excel at taking shortcuts around sleep, we demand productivity.  We are the masters of time management.  But what about life’s other downfalls?  Like wanting to kill your boss?  The Freshman 15?  Poor sex drive?  Stupid decisions?  Insomnia?  Neuro Drinks says leave it to energy drinks to avoid sleep, but come to them when you’re ready to deal with the rest of your problems.

Like I said, I received a big box of Crayons.  Each Neuro drink has a different color pointed cap and I have 6 of them: NeuroBliss, NeuroSporti, NeuroSonic, NeuroSleep, NeuroTrim, and yep, NeuroGasm.  Let’s look at the bottle description for each trim:

• NeuroBliss: Mood Enhancement
• NeuroSporti: Fitness Enhancement
• NeuroSonic: Mental Performance
• NeuroSleep: Sleep Enhancement
• NeuroTrim: Weight Loss Support
• NeuroGasm: Sexual Performance

Taken all at once, you’ll bring the right person home, put on a great show in bed, and lose weight while immensely enjoying yourself.  Oh and you’ll sleep good too.  Has this all gone too far?  Or is it the beautiful future of energy drinks?

Let’s say, for now, that each of these drinks work perfectly.  Stepping from that assumption, we could assume that the product will be wildly popular.  Now, what has happened to us at that point?  Do we really need this much help?  Feeling down?  Drink this.  Bad grades?  Drink this.  Too fat?  Can’t sleep? You get the idea.  Granted, we’re well down this road with energy drinks.  But my question still stands, how far is too far when it comes to beverage cooler content?

With so much energy drink market pollution, we can only expect that drinks like Neuro Drinks will be the new hotness in years to come.  Expect their full review soon.  Sneak peek: NeuroBliss is a one-ticket ride to Cloud 9.